It's official, I'm a wanna be Cowgirl, and other things

Recently I was so grateful to receive a package in the mail from a long time friend who lives in Texas. In the package was something that I have wanted for a while, but would never buy for myself, a little book called the Pioneer Woman Cooks . I have read this woman's blog for a while, I came across it accidentally and have loved it. I love looking at her photos and hearing her take on living the simple life that is really not all that simple. (Thank you so much Stacey for the box, the kids loved their clothes and I the cookbook, we miss you guys.)

For those who know us well, know that Andy is a wanna be cowboy (today he left the house wearing a suit, cowboy hat, and cowboy boots to celebrate his last weekend on Internal Medicine). I have always teased him for his dreams of wanting a ranch, horses, a pond, his own creek for fishing, cows, ducks for Carlee and Tessa, a little dog named Scurvy for Porter, four wheelers, belt buckles, and Wranglers, but in all reality I have always admired this dream and love him more for having it.

So after reading the Pioneer Woman blog/website, and now reading her cookbook, seeing movies like a River Runs through it and The Horse Whisperer I am making it official that I too am a wanna be cowgirl, and maybe one day I too can be an accidental country girl.

Moving on to the next thing I want to share, it is a little something called the Buried Life. This is a show on MTV unlike any others. It is a little something like The Bucket List, four guys fresh out of college are traveling the country crossing off things from their 'before I die list", and helping other people accomplish their own bucket list items. Andy and I have been watching for a few episodes and love it, I never thought a show on MTV could be touching, but I have been touched in watching this show. It is fun, funny, exciting, and motivating. Click here to see/read more about what the show is and if you have 20 minutes, watch an episode, I don't think you will be disappointed.

Greenhouse Reunion....

This morning we went to the Cleveland Greenhouse to do pictures of the kids. Thank you to Porter who reminded me that the pictures on the wall were old and needed to be updated. It was fun to be there again, it is a very beautiful place, although my heart was aching for the friends who showed us such a great place. Here is the outcome....

Need a Good Giggle, Look no Further.....

I love when I am picking up the kitchen and Tessa walks in and says "MOM" and I turn around to see her wearing these ridiculous glasses. She always makes me smile and brigthens everyday of my life. This shows so much of her personality and that she is like her Daddy, I love this girl!

Harry Porter (Potter) Birthday....

Yesterday we celebrated Porter's 6th birthday. His party was originally supposed to be on his b-day on January 30th, but that is when I was in Utah so we re-scheduled. We had a great party here for him. We started out with the sorting ceremony and thanks to my friend Debbie, we had a real sorting hat and I was able to give the kids their own robes, oh and Andy made some awesome wands that everyone got too. Andy rigged the hat with our walkie talkies so when one of the kids put the hat on, it would talk to them and tell them which class they were in! It was a brilliant idea, they had no idea (Porter later in the evening discovered the taped in walkie talkie). After the sorting ceremony we all cut out and made our own Harry Potter glasses, although the template was a little strange so all of the kids had one black eye and one white, it was funny, but classic for memories. Once everyone looked like Harry Potter we went to the living room for a special magic show. Our friend Mark is into magic and agreed to come over and do some things for us, it was great, there was even fire involved!! You can't do a party without a cake so, that was next, followed up with some gift opening. All in all it turned out very well. Everyone that he invited was able to come and it was fun to have more boys his age in our house.

I can't believe that Porter is six already, where does the time go. I still think often of his first birthday party in Maine where we had no family there just great friends (miss you Coombs and Sanders). Porter is such a great kid, we have drug him everywhere, all over the country, and he just goes with the flow, I am so lucky to have him in my life as my son.

Debbie Downer....

So I was on the phone with my mother-in-law complaining about my life and apologized for being a Debbie Downer and realized how perfect that name fit me right now. Things have been hard for me lately. I loved having the opportunity to go to Utah to be with my family for the funeral, it was amazing, and I loved being able to spend some time with Andy's family, but overall I was emotionally overwhelmed. I had a few moments in Utah when I just needed to cry, between one grandpa passing and my other grandma needing to be watched over, it was just a lot to take in in such a short period of time. To top that all off, Tessa got the lovely gift of croup from the not so lovely air of Utah. The night before we left she was barking and I knew. To this day, one week later we are still dealing with her fever, cough, and now a yucky green booger nose. Oh, and I came home and started the throwing up at night thing again thanks to baby number 4.

I feel like I cannot get a break. I am a women of routine and when it gets disrupted I fall apart. I am trying to make the climb back up, but it is hard. I am an adult, mother, and wife, but I feel like I need someone to come in and tell me what to do.

On another note, I miss Andy, he has been working such long hours, leaving at 6 am and not coming home until 7 p.m. everyday. It just gets old. I hate residency and there are times when I would give anything to go back to med school, where he had the summers off and we spent our days on the beach.

For the rest of the week we have a primary activity tonight for the kids (should be fun for them and an hour break for me), Tessa shot appt. in the morning (if her fever goes away), I work in the library at Porter's school tomorrow (may have to cancel that again, Porter misses me there though), Porter's Valentine party at school Friday that I am in charge of, and Porter's Harry Potter b-day party that was supposed to be on his b-day on Janruary 30th but I was gone.

So there you have it, me in a nutshell right now. I guess the only thing I can do is the best I can, which I don't know what my best is right now. And I would like to thank my friends here in Ohio who have called and offered to help, it means a lot to me.

For now, some pictures from the funeral.









*Some thoughts on the funeral. It was hard, I think all funerals are hard. But I feel that the hardest part is seeing the people that you love so much be so sad and knowing the only thing you can do is hug them and let you know you love them. It is amazing to me how everything happens for a reason. My Dad met Julie, they got married, she had an had wonderful family and parents, her father baptized me, eventually I met Andy, got married, had kids, and here I am. There is more to it, but you get what I am saying. I love how life is a story and how all of our stories are different and how we all have our own "that happened for a reason" moments.