At a loss....

Right now I feel just at a total and complete loss for words and feelings, but yet I am able to cry at the drop of a hat.

Last night I lost someone very near and dear to my heart. My Grandpa Bill passed away after suffering from a stroke late Saturday evening. This was the great man who baptized me and was my family witness when I was married to Andy in the Bountiful Temple.

Grandpa Bill gave the best hugs, he would hold me close and tight, and for an extended period of time, I knew after hugging him how much he loved me. I am going to miss those hugs so much and in the past twelve hours I keep trying to remember the feeling of the last one I got from him.

As of right now at this moment I don't know much of what is happening next. I do know that I am thankful for the great blessings of my amazing husband who scooped me the largest bowl of vanilla ice cream topped with home made fudge sauce (thanks to Jill who showed up with dinner last night), for my sister-in-law who is doing everything in her power to get me to Utah for the funeral, for my three amazing children all who gave me hugs and wiped away my tears, for the baby that is growing in my belly who's heartbeat I heard this morning for the first time, and for my Father in Heaven who's amazing love has carried me through so much and I know he will carry me through this.

*As of 9:00 p.m. on Monday night, I am going to Utah for the funeral thanks to a buddy pass, please pray that the buddy system works!

Through the fog....

This morning when I woke up and walked down to the back window to see what the weather had in store for us today I saw this family of cardinals through the fog. I love the cardinals and had never seen one until we moved here. Now I get to see them all of the time and I feel so lucky. The bright red color of the male is shocking at times, and just as shocking is that the female practically has no color at all, whad' up with that? (yes, a total referance to SNL, click to watch, and so you know, the guy in the red jumpsuit is my favorite)

Snow + Sun = Sledding

Saturday was a day of sledding, literally all day. We headed out in the morning, took a break for lunch at Mc Donalds (which made Porter's life), went grocery shopping, and then back to the hill with friends for another round. It was so fun to be outside and to feel the sun on our faces again, it has been so long.

And on another note, you could say it was my first time of really sledding. I have been before but it was different than this. I was afraid the first time I went down the hill on Saturday. I made the run with Porter who was also a little afraid to be sitting in the front of the sled, so I had to be tough. When we got to the bottom of the hill after screaming our heads off I said "see that wasn't so bad." I was facing Porter when the words came out of my mouth, but I knew that I was talking to myself, and not that it is all over I can't wait to go again!












As you can see from the photos that Andy put Tessa on Porter's lap, HELLO! (only my husband) You can see that Tessa is almost off Porter's lap at one point, Andy claims that he had a hold of her the whole time, I still don't know if I believe that or not. When they finally stopped Porter just layed there and would not let go of Tessa, he was so afraid of hurting her, he's the best big brother, and now possibly traumatized from the experience.



On another, another note, when I downloaded these pictures, I found Andy had taken some pictures I didn't know about. Here is Porter and Tessa eating the "Sugar cereal" also know as Cinnamon Toast Crunch one of my personal favorites.


She has the best smile.

Ice, Ice, Baby....

We took the kids ice skating this weekend with some friends and it was so fun. I could not believe how well they did, especially Porter, he was doing it all by himself with the cone. He has never been on the ice before so I was feeling extra proud. The only bummer was that Tessa could not get on the ice, she is too little. So I had to stay out to the side with her and she was wanting Daddy the whole time, no fun. They need a special time to go for little people with big ideas.


I love this picture, because Andy and Dave are talking, who is watching the kids that are all about to fall, although Carlee looks like she is doing a professional move.


Dad and his Car Car.


Porter was doing so good and having so much fun!


Anne and her cute little girl Ellie.

And yes the title has everything to do with Vanilla Ice of course. He was my first concert and very entertaining. I still love his first album and I probably know all of the words. (I need to look for that tape....)